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My Selfish Boyfriend [Oneshot]

Title : My Selfish Boyfriend
Author : hikarichan92 and me fairy_vamp
Pairing : Yamada x Chinen x Yuma (NYC) hinted! YamaChii
Rating : PG
Genre : Fluff,Romance,Friendship
Word count : 4437
Summary : All that Chinen Yuri wishes for is to be with Yamada Ryosuke. Secretly they’re in love but there are problems that keep nagging at Chinen. Why does Yamada keep hurting him in front of others? Their only hope to get through a crisis appears to be Yuma, their wonderful best friend, who lovingly supports them.


--------------------------------------------



Chinen was never really angry at Yamada. But still, he had to admit to himself that he wished Yamada could for once be a little nicer to him in public. Well, it was still his Yama-chan that he adored, and that was just part of his attitude. He would accept that, at least that’s what he had planned.

When they where with NYC, no matter what kind of event they had to attend, Yamada barely looked at him. And if he did look at him, Chinen felt more like he looked right through him, because there was nothing tender in his eyes. He couldn’t even see a blink of affection on his face, not even the slightest. That’s how it’s always been.
He had decided a long time ago that he would be okay with it.
“Shigoto desu kara”, he was mumbling to himself while they were getting in the elevator who would bring them to the basement where their driver was expecting them.

Yes, if he kept telling himself that his boyfriend’s distant behaviour was due to the fact that this was their job and they had to be professional about it, then he thought it would hurt him less. But nonetheless, he felt an ache inside his chest, while he was thinking about previous events, during a TV performance which was followed by an interview. After performing “Wonderful Cupid” they had been asked for their perfect date plan and Chinen was eager to come up with a great idea to impress Yamada. But then everything went wrong. First he teased him for the way he introduced the so-called “ideal date plan” and even the two woman who interviewed them couldn’t help but join both Yuma’s and Yamada’s taunting laughter.

“Can’t you do something about the way you talk? You sound like your own grandfather”, Yamada had added gleefully. That hurt.
But Chinen was acting like the perfect sunny boy. That’s his job and that’s what he’s really good at. Despite the fact he was crying on the inside, he still joined their laughter, even if a little hesitant, and then went on explaining what he had in mind for the special day with his “girl”. The ride on the countryside seemed a good idea at the time, because he knew how much his Yama-chan loved to get away from big cities and crowds once in a while. But then another blow followed.

“You’re going to let you girlfriend drive?” Yamada asked in disbelief.
“Fusakene! You got to be kidding me”

That was too much for poor Chinen. He was hoping Yamada would like his idea and they would really end up doing a trip together. They had little time to hide in their own private world with all the responsibilities as both NYC as well as Hey Say JUMP members.
It really wasn’t easy for them to begin with, but this was the tip of the iceberg. There wouldn’t be a proper date. It’s not meant to be, he thought. Best to just let it go. Maybe he got it all wrong and all this time he just had been imagining how perfect they were together. He didn’t understand why he’d be so mean all the time. He just didn’t know what to believe anymore.

When the interview finally was done the three of them were exhausted. As on many other days they had been working for more than 13 hours and couldn’t wait to have a proper dinner, a shower and then a good night sleep. But more than anything Chinen wanted to be alone. He wanted to get away from everything and cry. He wished for a chance to sneak away during dinner, as he sometimes did when there was trouble with Yamada. Then he usually ended up on the roof top of the hotel, crying alone in the dark, where only the stirring wind could witness the tears he cried because of Yamada’s cool act.

But right now they were still on the way out of the studio, entering the garage and walking towards Johnny’s van. While Yuma took the seat next to the driver, the other two NYC members went for the back. Yamada had entered the back-seat of the van from opposite Chinen and was now taking the seat next to him.

“Yuri, dou shita? daijoubu?”

He leaned over and their heads nearly collided, because Chinen was deep in thought and didn’t realize that the boy he was just brooding about was moving closer to him. But when he felt Yamada’s breath on his neck he instantly froze and shivers ran down his spine.
That happened every time and it kept bothering him. Wherever they place, whatever the circumstances were, he lost control of his body when he felt this handsome guy he loved so dearly, close to him, and everything around them was fading away and they were sent to their own private universe.

“Finally”, Yamada exhaled, instantly in a much more relaxed tone, which had to mean Chinen being close must have a similar effect on him.

“I can’t wait until we’re back in the hotel, and then,..” he continued, caressing the disappointed looking boy’s cheek.

Chinen looked up and straight into his eyes. “Hai? And then what, Yama-chan?” He was merely whispering. He wanted to avoid that Yuma and the driver, who were talking and listening to radio in the front, could overhear their conversation.
Yamada paused. Chinen looked so tired and so sad. Something was wrong. He tried to further examine his expression.

“Because you silly”, and he gave him his sweetest smile, full of love and affection, with gleaming eyes and he leaned his head toward Chinen’s, so their foreheads connected. 
“I’m happy to finally be alone with you, Yuri”.
Chinen inhaled deeply and instantly felt calm again. Both of them stayed still and felt happiness rise in their hearts, butterflies in their stomachs. Wasn’t this the best feeling after a long and hard day of work?

“Yama-chan, saki ni wa..”, Chinen started hesitantly.
“What’s wrong Yuri? You know you can tell me anything. Ore ga iru yo!” Yamada replied while winding his palms around Chinen’s neck.
“About what you said earlier, during the interview, I really…”, he gathered all his strength and wanted to explain how hurtful Yamada’s attitude had been for him, but he wouldn’t let him finish even the one sentence and interrupted him in a remotely annoyed tone,
“Do we have to talk about it now, Chinen?” He always used his sir-name instead of “Yuri“ when he was pissed. “We’re finally done with work for the day and you want to go on talking about it, majide? Do you always have to be such a girl?”

Chinen pulled away from Yamada and moved as far away from him as possibly. He turned around to face the tanned windows of the van and didn’t say a word until they arrived.
They got out of the van slowly walked in direction exit. Yuma had gotten out a little sooner and turned around to look at them. He lingered for a second, and curiously watched the two of them. Then he exclaimed,
“Here we go again!”

Surprised by Yuma’s sudden and quite loud comment (his voice was also echoing in the huge garage of the hotel where they had ended up) they lifted up their heads, first looked at Yuma and then at each other. Chinen’s mouth was twitching when he looked into Yamada’s eyes. And there it was again, the ache in his heart. Stronger than before, and he felt tears building up in his eyes. When Yamada faced him, insecurity and regret was written all over his face, because he couldn’t bear seeing his beloved Yuri with such a hurtful expression. The moment lasted not more then a few seconds, but it felt much longer to both of them. But as all moments pass, this one did as well and quickly they looked away and continued walking towards the hotel lobby.
Yuma was trying to get ahead of them, because he didn’t like the tense moments between his two best friends, who apparently where lovers. He often had to be the one to interfere and he was getting pretty good at it. But that didn’t mean he liked being a couple’s counsellor.

Few minutes later the three of them sat down at a nice dining table in the not very posh looking restaurant of their hotel. They liked simple places like this the best.
“I’ll have a big strawberry ice cream”, Yamada said happily.
Yuma was grinning at his mate, not being surprised by his choice at all.
“You sure do like strawberry ice cream, dude”, he said while grapping the menu to pick something for himself.
All of a sudden Chinen shouted, grimly looking at Yamada,
“You’re such a spoiled brat, you know that! Honto ni! You and your childish ideas! If your okaasan would be here right now she’d probably…”
“Would you mind not talking in this tone, Chinen-kun”, Yuma interrupted him, whispering. “People start looking, you know”.
Chinen bit on his lower lip. It always helped him to calm down, but also made him look a little bit like he was still in Kindergarten. He turned to Yuma and said apologetically and much more silently,
“It’s so unhealthy and he knows it, Yuma. After dinner he’ll go strait to bed, it’s not good for his stomach. He better eats a cake instead”
“Wakatta, Chinen. Wakatteru yo. Demo, now isn’t the time and place to argue, okay?”
Yuma did what he could to ease the tension between the two boys, but managed only to get through to Chinen, while Yamada’s reaction he couldn’t have predicted. He rose from his chair and cried out,
“You’re not my mom, okay!“
“Yameru!” Yuma grabbed Yamada’s shoulder and pushed him back onto his chair.
“Don’t do that in here, onegai. I’m sure you can talk about it later in the hotel room, deshou?”
And because both Chinen and Yamada knew that their best friend only wanted what’s best for them and for NYC, they stopped to argue.

Then Nakayama ordered chicken BBQ, which all of them loved, and while the were eating he could see his two band fellows peaking at each other, already looking much friendlier than a half hour ago.
“Everything’s easier with a full stomach”, he thought to himself.

But when Yamada spilled BBQ sauce on his cheeks and didn’t notice it, a huge grin appeared on Chinen’s face. At first Yamada was a little intimidated by the look, but soon started smiling too.

“Why so chipper all of a sudden, Yuri-chan?” he asked, still smiling happily.
Now Chinen started giggling and looked knowingly at Yuma who also couldn’t hide his amusement over the sauce stains on Yamada’s face.

“Betsu ni, Yama-chan”, Chinen replied innocently. “Isn’t that right, Yuma?”
“Yeah, he’s right, it’s nothing”, agreed Yuma satisfied. “Nande monai”.

But then, Yamada suddenly stood up and banged the table in front of him. Chinen and Yuma startled and almost dropped their drinks.
“What the hell are you talking about? Why are you as if to hide something from me? What are you laughing at? Is there something funny on my face?“ Yamada snapped angrily and his face turned red.
The amused feeling that Yuma and Chinen had felt when they saw Yamada with BBQ sauce on his face instantly vanished, and was replaced by a sense of fear and guilt.

“Yama-chan, don't take it that serious ne. It's not something important. We just found something ... funny on your face. That's it.“ Yuma said.
“Yeah,Yuma is right. No need to be mad like that for such unclear reason! You are childish!“ Chinen said.
“What? Childish? Ohh.. so now you see me as someone who didn't deserve to get along with people who might think as mature like you do? That's why you’re laughing at me? Fine! Okay, I'm childish, so from now on don't talk to me ever again. I don't want to be your laughing object! “Yamada said, and then rose from his chair and was about to leave their table.
Seeing that, Chinen quickly prevent him to go by hold his hand.
“It’s not like that! You just misunderstood. Sit down,Yama-chan. I will explain it to you.“ He said. But Yamada pulls away from Chinen,
“I don't need any explanation! Everything's clear. You guys just consider me like a child who didn't belong in this group. Well, I understand! And you, Chinen! Do you think you're more mature than I am, huh? Don't you remember about your habit when you're younger you liked to sit on the lap of people? Do you think you can erase the image of being a spoiled squirrel at this point? Ok, I think that's enough! “ And he turned on the spot and walked out of the restaurant.
Yuma, who's also worried, immediately chased him from behind.
“Yama-chan .. this is not what you think! Come back to our table!“ Yuma shouted but Yamada ignored him until they reached the door of Yamada's room, and he quickly went inside and shut the door harshly and left Yuma standing on the corridor. Yuma could hear him locking the door from inside.
“I think this is not the right time to speak. I'll be back again when his anger had subsided.“ Yuma said to himself and turned back toward the restaurant.
But he was surprised when he found out that their table was empty.

“Chinen .. where is he?“

Then, he saw Chinen walked toward the exit door.
“Chinen, Chotto! Where are you going?“
Chinen didn't answer, and tears started flowing down his cheeks. He couldn’t hold back his desperation anymore.
“Let me go, Yuma! I want to go home!“ answered Chinen.
“Ehh, go home? Why should go home now? And ... Why are you crying?" Yuma asked but Chinen shook his head.

“Chinen please .. why are you crying and where do you want to go in such condition? Is it because of what Yamada said before?“
“Yama-chan is right. The image as a spoiled person will always be inherent in me. As hard as I try to eliminate it and no matter how much effort I put into acting more mature, everyone will still see me as a cute and spoiled Chinen Yuri. I hate that, Yuma. Now let go of me!“ Chinen replied as he ran away, leaving Yuma alone.

Yuma was unable to do anything to stop him from running; he remained on the same spot.
“How can such a stupid misunderstanding ruin everything? It could damage the relationship between two people who actually love each other. And even worse, it could damage their relationship as NYC members. I have to talk to Yama-chan. I won't let this this problem getting worse.“
There, Yuma immediately walked heading to the hotel room where Yamada stayed. He knocked on the door,
“Oi, Yama-chan .. please come out for a while. Chinen ran home alone and he was crying. I'm afraid something could happen to him on his way back.“
“He's been mature enough to handle it. No need to worry about it.“ Yamada simply answered from inside the room.
“But .. but ..“
“No but,Yuma! Can't you just leave me alone now?“

Yuma sighed. He gave up trying to convince Yamada and walked toward his own room with his grouchy face. As he arrived, he tried to call Chinen, but Chinen's phone was turned off. Yuma feel so worried, but he could not do anything except wishing that Chinen would arrive home safely.
As he laid down on the bed, Yuma trying to think of a way to reunite the two friends.
After a long while trying to figure out something, Yuma smiled. He had a brilliant idea and hoped it would help his two friends to overcome their problems.

Yuma took his phone and started texting to both Yamada and Chinen.

*****

Yamada left his room around 7 o'clock. Yuma had planned to take him for a dinner together. This time Yamada requested it should be just the two of them, and shouldn’t include anyone else; include Chinen. Yuma had agreed to this condition.
He went to a restaurant that has been promised by Yuma. Apparently, Yuma wasn’t there.
“I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long.“ Yamada said, patting on Yuma’s shoulder.
“Daijobu desu. Oh, please take a seat!“
“Umm, you said you would threat me, right?“
“Hai. You can order any food you want. Anything, Yama-chan but wait a second... We’re expecting another guest“, said Yuma.
"EH? Somebody else is joining us? Dare desu ka? Demo...“
“You'll find out soon!“ Yuma interrupted with a smirk graced on his face.
Then, after another 10 minutes or so, the person Yuma had invited finally arrived. Yamada’s eyes widened when he saw that it was Chinen, who seemed equally surprised to find out Yamada was there, too.

“C-chotto, Yuma! Nani kore? You said we would have dinner together. Just the two of us! But now, what brought him here, too?“ Yamada snapped, he pointed at Chinen. And just like Yamada, Chinen also got angry because Yuma had tricked him.

“Yuma! Please explain why he is here as well? Didn't you say if we'd have dinner without anyone else?“ Chinen glared at Yuma.

“C-Chotto matte! I can explain this, but I beg you to sit down first!“ Yuma said.
Finally Yamada and Chinen were willing to sit down even though through a force.
“I just want to treat my two best friends to dinner. That's it! What’s wrong with that?“ Yuma asked, glancing at the two boys in front of him. Both of them were silent.

“Well, I was just thinking. Is it good if we have quarrel in a group? You're not supposed to just being concerned with your selfishness only, but also thinking about how our fans will react once they hear about this. Furthermore, you are a perfect couple in their eyes. You could damage their opinion too just because of your selfishness. Please think about it, Yamada-kun, Chinen-kun .. We are idols in a group named NYC. We should keep working on our relationship and make sure it’s healthy, at least for the sake of our fans. Do you understand? “

Yamada and Chinen didn't give a single reply, but just glanced at each other then looked down.

“Okay .. now let's eat. You can order anything you like. It’s my treat!“ said Yuma, and then called for the waitress.
Yamada and Chinen still remained silent without saying any word.
Yuma sighed, “How long will you remain silent like this? Nothing’s going to change if you just shut up without intending to do something for your relationship.“

Silence. Yamada and Chinen were remained silent.

"FINE! Maybe I should leave you on your own so you can speak more freely.“ Yuma said, standing up.

“Yuma, chotto!“ the two of them shouted in unison, both showing worried expressions on their faces.

“Why? You have to talk now. Please remember, this is for the sake of our fans and also for your own sake. I'm leaving now, jaa ne! Take your time and talk!“ Yuma said and left the restaurant.

And.. naturally,all by themselves, the two boys felt awkward. They wanted to talk, but not a single word came out of mouths.
Right then, the waitress brought the food which they had ordered earlier. Yamada and Chinen who were already hungry immediately started taking the food from a plate which was put in the centre of the table by the waitress.
By a coincidence, they both reached for the same slice of meat and Yamada's hand briefly touched Chinen's. They looked at each other for a few seconds before pulling back their hands, cheeks flushing.

“You first ..“ Yamada said
“No. .. you first.“

Yamada chuckled and took the slice, but also didn't forget to put another one on Chinen’s plate.
“Arigatou ..“Chinen said,smiled now
“Hai. Itadakimasu!" Yamada yelled and hurriedly began chopping the meat, digging in like he hadn’t eaten anything for days. So did Chinen, and then they just enjoyed their dinner together, filling their empty stomachs without starting a conversation.

15 minutes later, their dinner was finished, and there was just one piece left on the table.

“Ano sa.“ Yamada began to speak after taking a sip from his strawberry juice.
“Nani?“ Chinen turned to Yamada.
“Iiya, betsu ni. I just remembered Yuma's words earlier. I think, what he said was true. We should not be involved in this kind of stupid argument. What do you think?“

Chinen took the napkin on the table to clean his mouth.“I also thinking the same. And I don't know why I can be such a selfish person. I'm sorry, Yama-chan ..hontou ni.“
“Yeah, me too. I also feel sorry for acting so selfish yesterday. My only concern is how “I” feel. I should consider “your” feelings a lot more. I really am childish. I deserve to be blamed for this.“
“Ehh, don't say that. It's not just your fault, but my fault as well. I simply ran away, instead of explaining it all to you beforehand. Yesterday Yuma and I were laughing because there was BBQ sauce on your face. We didn't tell you about it, but we never expected you to be offended and angry by our behaviour. I'm really sorry, Yama-chan. Gomen ne .... “ Chinen bowed, until his nose nearly mad contact with the empty plate in front of him.

“Iiya,Iiya .. I’m the one who needs to apologize to you and Yuma. If only I hadn’t jumped to false conclusions and ran back to my room yesterday, this silly misunderstanding would not have happened.  I'm also sorry if what I told you yesterday hurt you that much, and I apologize for offending you and for leaving you like that and walking home alone. I'm really sorry, Yuri.. “ Yamada said.
“Daijoubu dayo, Yama-chan .. we've learned a valuable lesson from this fight, desho? Our selfishness could have ruined everything. It could even ruin our relationship. I don't want this to happen. We should fix it together. Can we?“
“Mochiron ne, I promise I'll try not to be childish anymore. Due to my bad attitude you turned away from me. I realize now that I couldn’t stand to be apart. You have to believe me, Yuri. Yesterday, when Yuma told me you're walking home alone, I was so worried something bad could’ve happened to you, but then again my selfishness was covering up everything including my true feelings for you.
“Eh? True feeling ?“

Yamada didn't answer it, but dragged his chair close to Chinen. He took Chinen's hand and brought it closer to his chest, holding it tight like he never wanted to let go.
Chinen was confused.

“I .. I love you, Chii ...“ Yamada whispered and Chinen stared at him looking shocked. “I'm sorry I never get to show my feelings in public. I've always ignored you in public places or during TV interviews. I'm sorry ... I promise from now on I won’t do it again. I'll tell everyone in the whole world that I’m happy to be with you. There's no reason to hide it anymore.“

Chinen's stunned. He didn't expect to ever get to hear such a beautiful declaration of Yamada’s love. Of course he felt the same, and he wanted to show his love for Yamada in public. That was always his dream, and he never thought it would become true. He always wanted to tell everyone proudly about their relationship and never dared to hope it would turn out like this. His tears started to flow again from his beautiful eyes. Happy tears.

“Why are you crying? Did I hurt you again?“
“Iiya,daijobu .. I just feel happy, Yama chan. I never thought you would commit to our relationship and express your true feelings like that.“ Chinen said, wiping the tears from his cheeks.
“So .....“
“Yes, I have kept my worries for you from long time. I was confused and didn’t know what to do so I decided not to tell you how much it hurt me that you never showed your feelings for me in front of others.“
“Soukka. But now, I already can stand by you and our love can grow like a beautiful flower for everyone to see, right? I'm very happy knowing it. Then.. Will you promise to always be here with me and remind me whenever my childishness and selfishness appear again?“Chinen lets out some chuckles before answering it, “Yes, I will. It’s my pleasure, Yama-chan.. I promise.“

Yamada jumped when he heard his reply and immediately embraced Chinen. He didn’t care for a second about everyone in the restaurant, who were watching the beautiful scene with great interest and astonished looks.

Chinen was the one who first realized that and feel embarrassed as well.
“Yama-chan .. please don't hug me here, okay? Don't be so childish again ne.. You can show it later to me,not here. Everyone is looking at us now." Chinen whispered,right in Yamada's ear.
Hearing that, Yamada pulled away from Chinen shyly. He felt so ashamed and without any further thought he took Chinen's hand and pulled him out of the restaurant.

Outside Yuma was waiting for them. He greeted the reunited couple with applause.
“Omedetou! Now you two have officially become a couple, that’s what I've expected. Starting from today all of our fans can see that you are a real couple, right? Not just in thei imagination but also in real life. I do happy for you two. ”

The two lovebirds were both smiling happily, looking at their good friend.
“ I think we need another celebration for this. Who agree with me?“

Chinen and Yamada glanced at each other before finally answering, “Yatta,AGREED“
And with that, the three of them spend the rest of the night together walking around Tokyo to celebrate the reunited couple who had just decided to go public, admit to their feelings for each other and share their love with the whole world.

FIN


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This is my very first livejournal fan fiction, and I feel very honored for having been able to work with my dear aibo Hikari-chan. She is just amazing and I can't get enough of reading her stories <3

I really hope there are some YamaChii lovers out there who will appreciate our story. If you liked it, let me know and leave a comment.

Yoroshiku o negai shimasu!

Thank you for reading
YamaChii forever <3



HeySayJUMP shippers: dai suki dayo!

I've been on lj for a while now, but I never really got the hang of it. I don't know why. Ever since I started reading the very intriguing HSJ fan fics, I feel like I want to spend some more time here. And even if I'm all chilly in my room (it's gotten cold again and I don't want to heat anymore, it's spring for christ's sake lol)
But right now I feel warm in my heart because I could forget about some troubles today, RL trouble. And that is thanks to you guys out there.
I enjoyed and loved your stories today, Rei. Arigatou gozaimasu. Sugoku tanoshikatta desu.
And Asti, thanks for writing "Sweet Holiday", I love this story so much. Honto ni dai suki. Arigatou!

Looking up for new stories, gotta fulfill my fangirl needs, deshou?
Oyasumi nasai
mata ne
Mari

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